November 21, 2008                         

Sabrina Pérez                       

Final draft

 

 

Living a Double Life

 

        Do you ever stop and question the decisions that you make? Whether it is what you do, what you say, what you think, and why you may think that way? Do you know whether you have a negative or positive mentality? Do you know why you are here?

I know what led up to this point in my life. Let me tell you why I am here at Gavilan College.

        After taking a break after graduating from high school, the thought of returning to school was exciting yet scary at the same time. I was highly self-motivated and determined to go to school, obtain a degree, and achieve a brighter future.

        I had graduated high school as a mother of two. I knew that some day I would attend college, but not any time soon. My kids were still babies and I did not want to leave them at such a needy age. In that two-and-a-half year-break, I managed to afford my own apartment, worked several jobs and bought my first car.

        “What made you decide that you needed to come to college?” most people would ask me. “You have what you need.”

Yes, being able to live on my own and become independent was great, but having my own place was not easy. Along with these responsibilities came bills. It seemed that no matter how much I worked, once I had paid all my bills, I was broke. I knew that I did not want to live the rest of my life like that. I could not picture being thirty or forty years old in the same situation. I wanted more out of life. I knew that I needed to go to college.

I found my first semester at Gavilan overwhelming; I was enrolled in thirteen units. By this time I had quit both of my jobs, and had moved in with my grandparents in order to focus on school.

 Although I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, I really did not. College was new, exciting and sometimes intimidating. I was overloaded with school work, and the lifestyle that I was living was not helping either. I was still living the same lifestyle that I had been living when I was on my own. My focus was not on school. My school revolved around my life, instead of my life revolving around school. I was still staying out late on school nights, procrastinating when it came to major reports and other homework. Although I was getting it done, I was doing a sloppy job and probably could have done much better if I wasn’t procrastinating so much. I was also allowing personal problems to affect my school work. I would stay up most of my nights finishing assignments the night before they were due, which then led me to having to try to stay awake in class the next day. On top of all this I was suffering in silence. I was not seeking tutoring nor was I seeking help when I got stuck in my work. My life was a mess. I wanted to quit. Then I remembered how my life was before without an education; my life was going nowhere.

Even if I got a great paying job, it was not guaranteed. A college degree is guaranteed. No matter what, I would always have something to fall back on. I knew that some day I would want a better job, better pay, and a brighter future. I knew that I could not give up. I was going to have to go to college sooner or later, and I was already here. Looking back to when I had graduated high school and those two-and-a half years that had gone by so fast, I had asked my self; “Am I going to learn from life and not waste my time? Or was life going to learn from me? Was I going to become a nobody?” Before I had begun this journey, a counselor had told me that college is a huge sacrifice. It is true, but only for a while, and let me tell you that I know it will be well worth it in the end.

I can honestly say that I did not always feel this way about my education; it took time, growth, and many mistakes. It was the poor choices in life that I learned from.

Growing up I hated school. The only good thing about going to school to me was that I had a chance and a place to meet new people, make new friends and have fun. The bad choices that I made in life led me to better myself. Having kids at such a young age, having to provide for them and give them the lifestyle that I never had growing up required an education. Looking up to my mother as an example of someone who never went to college, watching her struggle, working dead end jobs, and never really going anywhere with her life, allowed me to recognize the value of a degree. I had grown up in a very low-income home, and I knew that I wanted better for my kids.

I am now working on my third semester here at Gavilan College. It has been a roller coaster, but it’s been great. I already have a year under my belt, and believe me it’s gone by fast. I have made it this far by learning from my mistakes from my first semester here. First of all, I no longer procrastinate when it comes to my work. I give myself a week in advance to start whatever major assignment is due. I seek tutoring. I have found out that sometimes the tutoring center gets so full there’s no place to sit. I am no longer ashamed. If it’s Friday, I tend to stay at school until I finish all my work, so that way I can enjoy my weekend with no worries. I am here every day with a positive attitude as well as a good night’s rest. I sit in the very front so I don’t get so easily distracted. My life now revolves around my school. I save my friends for the weekends and have a blast enjoying my days off stress free. Overall, this semester is better than the first: I now have better grades, my grade point average has skyrocketed and I feel great about myself. I can honestly say that I love school.

Success in College is a great website that can answer any questions you may have about college. Whether it is questions that you make have about what is expected of you as a student, as to what is required. It answers most frequently asked questions by students for students. This website is perfect for people who are thinking of coming to college for the first time, right after high school, or even after a few years of being away from school. It has been very helpful to me and can be to you.

If this is your first semester here, learn from others’ mistakes; focus on your school work and not what everyone else is doing. In the end, your degree is your ticket to a better life. Think about it. Compare a person with a college degree and one with just a high school diploma. There is a major difference. Remember, you are doing this for no one but yourself. Be smart, be free, and become someone that makes a difference. Only you can change your life.